Israel Day 2: Eat, Travel, F*ck

Thursday, March 29, 2012

A few months before my trip to Israel a friend and I were having coffee at a cute little shop in Eastern Market.

"So you should totally do that Julia Roberts thing."

"That Julia Roberts thing?" I shot my friend a confused look, "What do you mean?"

"Like in that movie where she's suddenly single and she decides to travel the world..."

"You mean 'Eat, Pray, Love'? That was a horrible movie."

"Yea, but you're single now... Going to travel the world... You should write a book of your own. Call it: 'Eat, Travel, Fuck'.

I can safely say that on my Israeli excursion, I accomplished the first two.

I awoke bright and early my first morning in Tel Aviv. Not because of my cheerful morning demeanor but out of necessity. My tour bus was scheduled to pick me up at 7:15 and I still had to get breakfast. Fortunately a "complimentary breakfast" was included in my hotel stay. I figured this would be the typical stateside fare: bagel, (fresh?) fruit, cereal, milk and coffee.

My expectations were far too low.

The hotel-provided brunch was an incredible cornucopia of food. There were eggs, a variety of smoked fish, quiche, traditional Israeli salads, olives, coffee, sweet breads, and the list goes on and on. I indulged then rushed out to meet my bus.

First on the schedule was Masada, but not before we stopped for a quick detour at Khirbet Qumran. To give you an idea of where this is, it's about a mile inland from the shore of the

Dead Sea, and is located in the West Bank. It's hard to tell from the photos, but in the mountainside and plateau pictured there are caves in which the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered. These scrolls are the oldest copy of known biblical record and even contain some books not found in the Bible. Another fun fact: Some of the scroll’s writings differ greatly from their published books in the Bible. While it is possible to hike around the caves and to some extent explore them, we had two more stops to make, so we journeyed on.

On the bus ride to Masada I started to meet some of my trip mates. I ended up hitting it off really well with a cool guy named Alan, his friend Holly and her husband. They had come to Tel Aviv for a wedding and were now getting out and seeing the sights. We quickly became fast friends.

Arriving at Masada we found we had two options to reach the top: we could either take the cable car up, or we could climb the 700 step "Snake-Path.”

"We're young, in shape, gorgeously handsome, we should climb it!" we exclaimed. "It'll be no problem."

Let me be the first to tell you, those stairs are much steeper than they look. About a fourth of the way up Alan and I lost his friends. And I’ll be the first to admit that, huffing and puffing, we ended up stopping a few times on the way up. It's a hell of a hike, but it's incredible. Upon reaching the top of Masada, which is about 1,300 feet up from where we started, we really felt like we’d accomplished something. And the view, in and of itself, is spectacular.

As with most things in Israel, the archaeological site has quite a history behind it. Herod the Great initially built the place and "owned" it from 37 - 31 BCE. He had it constructed so that in the event he and his family needed a place to flee during a revolt, they had a defensible refuge. Yet after going through all the effort to build the place, Herod never lived there for any extended period of time. When he passed on, the place sat largely unused until the beginning of the 1st Roman War when a group of Jewish extremists, called the Sicarii, took control of the

fortress. The reined over the plateau until the Romans finally conquered the city in 73. On a somewhat creepy note, it's said that when the Romans finally managed the breach the walls they found that the inhabitants had Jim-Jonesed themselves, and had set the entire place ablaze.

One of the really cool things about Masada, besides being able to see the old fortress ruins, is being able to truly visualize history as you're learning about it. The photos I've taken hardly do the place justice, but the first thing you'll notice is that you're REALLY high up when you're there. It's hard enough to hike up Snake Path in jeans and sneakers, but to imagine being a Roman soldier doing that same hike in full armor gives a new meaning to the word "endurance."

Another really cool thing about Masada is that from the top tower you can see where all the Roman encampments were. In the photo to the side, the rectangular structure is the outline of one of the Roman base camps. There are several of these surrounding the plateau, and imagining what it must have looked like at night is quite an experience. Picture this: You're a Sicarii Rebel living at Masada in 70 CE. It's a cloudless night and the moon is full; from the watch tower you can see miles around and in the distance, the moonlight sparkles on the Dead Sea. Below you hundreds of torches flicker in the Roman military encampments that surround your base. What an amazing sight it must have been. Of course, just a year later you'd be committing suicide with your comrades as the Romans knocked down the gate. But hey, that's life sometimes.

Following the exploration of Masada (and taking the cable car down this time), we headed for the Dead Sea (or The Salt Sea as it is called by locals). Reaching the shore on the far side of the lake (the Dead Sea is actually a lake)

is Jordan, on the other side across the "beach" area are tall mountainous cliffs. We were lucky that the day that we went it was relatively warm (60F) and sunny. Tourists I talked to later in the week had gone on days when the weather was colder and crappy, and so they had been unable to “swim.”

When visiting the Dead Sea there are a few things one should take into account. First, unlike a traditional sea, you don't want to swim, you want to float. Second, the water in the sea is extremely toxic, not only because of the salt content, but due to the other minerals that leach out of the rocks and the ground. Because of this, one should avoid splashing or getting the water in your eyes/nose/mouth. According to our guide, even a small amount of the water can make you very, very sick.

Most people are familiar with the "Dead Sea Mud" experience. That said there is a specific way one should experience the mud for the best results on their skin. First, you float in the sea. To accomplish this, you wade out, find a good spot where some tourist won't splash you, and then you "sit down" into the water with your hands in a prayer position. As you begin to float, you open your arms, and

suddenly you're on top of the water bobbing around. For me and my comrades this was quite an experience. Out of curiosity, Alan and I floated over to the rope line only to find that it was encrusted with a thick layer of salt. We then made our way over to the shoreline for photos that our tour guide had graciously agreed to snap of us. After a bit more floating, it was time for the mud.

When you slather on the mud, you want to make sure you don't cake it on too thick, or it won't extract the impurities from your skin. Instead, you apply a thin layer, let it harden, and then wash it off. You may need a friend to help get your back. Or at least that's what I told myself when a hot guy offered to help out. What can I say, I was definitely not going to say “no.”

In any event once the mud was on, we let it harden, and then it was off to the showers which in and of itself was an interesting experience. During the shower

you can't open your eyes to see what you're washing off and so you rely on your friends to give you instructions. "You still have mud in your hair!" "There's some behind your ears!" "Your back!"

I've never felt so much like Hellen Keller.

Following the shower we hurried over to the sulfur hot springs baths and soaked/floated in them for a bit. While it is possible to fully submerge in them, there is a specific way of doing this to prevent yourself from ingesting any of the water. Also, if you get the water in your eyes it stings like a motherf#cker. Compared to the sea, the water here was scalding.

We relaxed in the water, letting it soothe our sore muscles from the hike earlier in the day. On my first day in Israel I had met incredible people, eaten exotic food, and floated in a fabled land. And the day wasn't over yet! It was December 31st and I still needed to find a place to ring in the New Year. Toweling off and packing up our stuff (you're not supposed to shower the sulfur water off for a few hours) I was ready for a nap. Little did I know what an exciting evening I had in front of me.

On the road to Masada and the Dead Sea.

Khirbet Qumran

Taken w Canon 7D

Masada

Taken w Canon 7D

Roman Camp Seen from Masada

Taken w Canon 7D